Families

Families
By Pastor Krista Ducker
Ephesians 6:1-4
Opening video: (a kind of children’s moment): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii_LtHrEiao

Today is Family Sunday; a day when we take time to celebrate families and all they do to provide love and stability in our society. In honor of this day, I’d like to share a list of Ten Rules for Children in the Worship Service; just as a public service to our families here at Brookings First...

FB post: Ten Rules for children in the worship service (NOTE: Each rule has a corresponding slide in the presentation)
Rules for children in the worship service:
One. If you find that you're sitting in front of a child and they can't see, lean to the side.

Two. If the children seated behind you are rustling papers, hand them a crayon.

Three. If there is a baby that is crying, offer to take the baby from their parent and walk to the back of the church and rock the child for a while. The parent really needs a break.

Four. If the teenagers are whispering give them some Smarties. The rustling and crinkling will replace their whispering.

Five. If an adult complains to an usher about the noisy children near them, offer to trade seats with that adult and then apologize to the parents of the children.

Six. When a child is running around giving everyone high-fives during the time of passing the peace/greeting your neighbor make sure to give them an extra fun high-five, and then high-five the next five adults that you see.

Seven. If a child has worn tap shoes to church and is dancing on the wood portion of the floor, slip the sheet music for "The Entertainer" to the pianist and roll with it.

Eight. When the children can't hear because an adult around them won't take off their puffy jacket and it keeps squeaking and distracting the children, offer to help them off with their jacket and go hang it up for them where it goes.

Nine. When the three-year-old insists on standing on the front pew turned backwards looking at the rest of the people, give the child a pair of very dark glasses.  That will prevent the child from catching any adult's eye, which would lead to distracting them.  This will protect the adults who as we know have very short attention spans and are easily distracted.

Ten. When a child in front of you is very squirmy, and then they finally turn around and you realize suddenly, "Oh, it's Jesus!" take it in stride and play Got Your Nose till he turns around to the front again.

CB Beal
Our text: Ephesians 6:1-4
6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—this is the first commandment with a promise: 3 “so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

In our scripture for today, we are given a window into the ancient concept of family; the expectations that came along with being part of a family unit as it made its way through life in a society very different from ours; and this is one of those times when I find myself surprised at how applicable this word is to us, though two millenia have passed since it was written.

The text itself is based on a law, which by that time had been handed down from generation to generation--which itself was not unlike other ancient law codes in the near East at the time; with some important qualifications. The greatest example we have in our faith tradition, arguably in all the world, is the Ten Commandments. We find them in our Bibles in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5. And in them is the command to honor your father and mother. Our text this morning echoes that command in verse 6; let’s look at it: 
6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord,[a] for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—this is the first commandment with a promise: 3 “so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth
 
This echoes, nearly word for word, the fifth commandment:
12 Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Ex. 20:12)
16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Deut. 5:16)
 
But it doesn’t stop there; in much the same way that Jesus would say to his followers; “You have heard it said, but I say to you”, the Apostle takes the letter of the law further, in verse 4:
4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

And it’s not the only place he does this; let’s look at the book of Colossians, chapter 3:
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is your acceptable duty in the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, or they may lose heart.
In fact, Colossians 3-4 and Ephesians 6 constitute parallel teachings which both challenge the prevailing power structures of there day in dynamic ways:
They take on the marriage system: 
21 Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord…25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
(Eph. 5:21-22, 25, 28/Col. 3:18)
And the labor system: 
5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, as you obey Christ; 6 not only while being watched, and in order to please them, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. 7 Render service with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not to men and women, 8 knowing that whatever good we do, we will receive the same again from the Lord, whether we are slaves or free.
9 And, masters, do the same to them. Stop threatening them, for you know that both of you have the same Master in heaven, and with him there is no partiality. (Ephesians 6:5-9/Col. 3:22-4:1)
 
In effect, Paul takes a commandment well known to all his Jewish sisters and brothers, and expands it; to include not only families, but also larger power structures in society. And he targets the three groups that had the least power and influence in his world; children, women and slaves. In this way, Paul enlarges the discussion to include not only family relationships, but power structures, assumptions, and the very building blocks of what made up society in this day. Paul recognized that they are all related, because they all have to do with how we relate.

The truth is; we are not only members of families; we are members of systems that act like families. We are part of organizational structures outside our families that sometimes, perhaps often, act like families. And in all of those systems, Paul tells us through this scripture, we are to act in ways that promote our common flourishing; so that none is left out, abused, or hurt, but all can be free to serve one another out of love, in peace, and with joy. In essence, Paul is saying; “Be kind! Love one another. Be good to each other.”
 
Of course, we live in a society that rightly has condemned slavery as a valid system of getting things done. But the concept remains the same; we need to work together and be kind to one another, whether in our families or in any of the societal structures in which we operate--structures that so often mirror the dynamics of our families. 

So let’s experiment a little. I want to offer some paraphrases of Paul’s words; some other possibilities to update them a little bit. How about these:
 
“Big sisters and big brothers, help your younger siblings to learn and grow, and don’t pick on them; for one day you will be grown and can support each other in your journey.”

“Employees, be dependable and dedicated in your work, and respectful to your supervisors, and bosses; don’t make their lives difficult; listen to them and work with them to be the best people they can be, at home and at work, so that together you can make your community a better place.”

“Players; train hard, be passionate and help your teammates. Give them the ball. Remember that you get to your goals together, as a team, and not as individuals. And coaches, model good character to your players and don’t push them to the point of exhaustion and injury. Remember that the ultimate goal is not a shelf full of trophies, but the development of good character in every player you coach.”

“Students, be diligent in your work, and try your best to offer your best in the classroom, not only in your assignments, but in your relationships with your classmates and with your teacher. Be kind. And teachers, recognize the constellation of relationships and circumstances, some helpful and some harmful, that your students are part of each day--be patient, kind and creative in your work, recognizing that you play an integral role in who they are becoming and your work bears eternal fruit.”
 
We are all part of constellations of relationships; in our families, in our community, in our places of work and learning. Each of these constitutes a building block of our society. At various times in our lives, we will be called to lead or to follow; to direct or to be directed. And wherever we find ourselves, as children of God we are called to work together in love toward our common flourishing. 

What Paul is talking about essentially is kindness; motivated by love. Back in Paul’s day and before, law codes generally didn’t concern themselves with love. That wasn’t the motivating factor--law and order, yes; keeping people in their place, yes. Love, not so much.

But God did not let things stay that way. God began to reveal godself to a small, seemingly insignificant band of former slaves called Hebrews. God began to show them how important it is that we care for the outsider; that we give generously to those who don’t have enough; that we love our neighbor and take care of them.

And then God came in the form of one of them to live that law of love for us; to show us what it looks like when we care about people more than we care about power; he commanded us to love God and love each other as we love ourselves. He even said that was the most important thing--that all the law codes and rules and regulations we only created in service to this greatest commandment; that we love. Let us be people, not of regulations, rules, and loopholes, but of love; that our actions would be motivated not out of a desire to fit in or get ahead, but to include our neighbors so that we call can flourish together. This is God’s way for us; let us walk in it.

Let us pray; as we do, I invite you, when you hear the words “Hear us, Lord,” please respond with; “Lord, graciously hear us.”
  
Pastoral Prayer:
A prayer for families:
We are very thankful, God, for the good times we have with our families. Thank You for allowing us to enjoy each other’s company. Thank You for giving us time to spend with them each day. 

Preserve our good relationships, Father, whenever we are with our beloved families. Let peace reign in our homes and let compassion fill each of our hearts. Teach us what it is to experience real joy and enable us to show each other what this means. 
Hear us, Lord...Lord, graciously hear us. 

Dear God, we commit to you those in our families who have fallen sick. We believe that you are our Healer, our Great Physician. May You be the comfort of our family members who are physically in pain right now. Touch them with Your Healing Hands, Lord. Send forth your Word and heal their diseases. Let Your healing power flow through every cell of their bodies.
Loving God, we also ask that you heal the members of our families who are hurting emotionally. Their affliction is not physical, but we know that they are also in pain. Give them comfort as well, God. Give them the peace that transcends understanding. Heal their hearts, Lord, which may be full of anger, hatred, strife, bitterness, and unforgiveness. Clear their minds of any doubt, anxiety, or depression. Renew in them a peaceful spirit. 
Hear us, Lord...Lord, graciously hear us. 

We also pray that You would restore the bonds that have been broken among our families. We know, God, that there is nothing You would want more than feuding relatives to reconcile with each other. But we also admit, Lord, that we cannot do this on our own. For that, we ask Your Holy Spirit to surround us with Your love. May we be filled to the brim with love, that it may overflow and we may share it with our families. Allow us to be instruments of Your blessings to them. In due time, Lord, let our relationships also be restored. All these we pray in Your Name, Amen.
Hear us, Lord...Lord, graciously hear us. 

Heavenly Father, You are our ultimate source of strength. When we are weak, You are strong. You lift us up when we are down. You renew our strength, and we soar on wings like eagles. Thank You, God, for always raising us up with Your mighty hands.
How strong our bonds are with our families depends on You, Lord. Which is why we ask You to always be the center of our family relationships. Enable our families to be as a triple-braided cord that cannot easily be broken. Let Your Spirit fill our hearts so we can love each other just as Christ loves us.

You are our strength when we are weak, God, and we are always grateful when You manifest Your power through our lives. 
Hear us, Lord...Lord, graciously hear us. 

Loving God, we admit that we are not always the lovers of peace that You want us to be. There are times in our families when we fight and bicker with each other. There are times when we let anger, strife, and bitterness rule over our hearts and because of this, we end up hurting our families. We ask for You to forgive us, loving Father, for these sins against our own families. Change our hearts and make them truly loving.
Also enable us, Father God, to extend the same forgiveness to the members of our families whom we have hurt. Humble us, Lord, so that we may seek forgiveness without pride. 
Hear us, Lord...Lord, graciously hear us. 

Lord, You are our Prince of Peace and the One that guards our hearts. May You always remind us to be peacemakers, especially within our families. Protect us from hateful thoughts, and let us not be the reason for causing chaos in our homes. Guide us each day as we walk through life with our families, wherever each of us may be.  All these things we ask in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who taught us to pray: Our Father...